When I moved to New York, I left my beloved collection of vibrators at home and started afresh. I recently confessed to a friend that I’m the proud owner of eight vibrators, and she was aghast. “Why do you need more than one?”

Well. Here’s why: You know how you have more than one shoe? You have your heels, your flats, your boots, and your sneakers? My collection of vibrators functions in much the same way.

My rabbits are my heels, because they’re sexy. I have five of them: Two of them are over 5 inches and the other ones are 5 inches, but some have spikes, some have a curve, and one has a flat head.

My bullet vibrator is my one flat shoe. It's the missionary of vibrators. It's simple, it's vanilla. After a long day, you don’t want any fuss—you just stick it in there. It’s literally a small stick—none of the bells and whistles. It’s reliable, and it gets the job done.

I have the wand that Samantha has in Sex and the City. It’s like the OG vibrator. The wand to me is a sneaker because sometimes it’s not reliable: You can’t wear it everywhere; you can’t take it in the tub with you. For me, the sneaker is something you fall back on when you really don’t want to be wearing anything else. You’re going to the grocery store, you wear a sneaker. If none of the vibrators are working, then you reach for the wand.

My G-spot vibrator is a curve. It’s really cool, like a trendy boot. It ups the ante. It’s unique, and it always stands out. It does cool things that the others don’t do. It’s not my favorite because it’s sometimes too wild. I have to be in the right mood. It’s seasonal, like a boot—it’s got to be snowing for you to wear a snow boot. The G-spot does crazy things—it does things that you hear about on Pornhub. I don’t go on the site, so I don’t know what that means, but it’s the stuff you hear about. It’s just insane and it looks funky, too.